Admissions Essay: Why I want to go to a christian college

I grew up as the over achieving child of missionaries. Every good or bad decision I made was first ran through a filter of how much it would affect my parents work. If it hurt them, I did not do it. If it made them look good, I did.

I can remember being baptized, fasting, leading worship services, Sunday school, praying for the sick and even translating for visiting pastors. Those are good memories, and I’m proud of those things, but I do ask myself now how much of it was done for me and because they were things I believed in versus acting the part of the missionary daughter.

When I moved back to America after I graduated high school I struggled to find a church that suited my heart. I looked and looked and finally stopped. In this country apparently being a Christian implies following the rules of your fellow church-goers; when I couldn’t conform to what they demanded, I was not welcome.

I joined the military next, and lived a life that was foreign to my upbringing. I have matured and grown as a person because of the thousands of difficult experiences I survived, and the unusual people I have met. My eyes were opened to the size of the world and the variety of its populace, and I learned repeatedly that I was young and knew absolutely nothing.

I finally feel that I am comfortable with myself and who I am and what I mean. I want to attend a Christian university because this time my faith is my choice. I no longer feel compelled to talk pretty and smile big to impress my parents congregation; finally when I pray it is between me and my God, and not a show.

Most of my life has been lived by the standards of the people above me. I am now the boss of me, and I am ready to be back in a wholesome Christian environment and continue to discover exactly what my faith means to me as a unique individual.

~ by manjamanis on November 30, 2010.

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