Georgia on My Mind

Psych – it’s not Georgia, it’s babies. Little bouncing, drooling, spitting, pooping, powdered, sweet-smelling babies. Cute little things that ruin the vagina. Pretty little girls or boys that are expensive and adorable, that cancel date nights or pool games or drinking capabilities.

Obviously i’m a little torn on how i feel about reproducing.

On one hand, theoretically, it’s the ultimate manifestation of the love between two people. At the same time, chicks get pregnant during one night stands, sex with ex’s, moments of curiosity etc etc. Which cheapens the whole ‘ultimate manifestation’ thing.

The other hand – i think reproducing is the biggest expression of vanity a couple (one that gets pregnant on purpose anyways) can have. I’m guilty of it of course, i’ve totally wondered what my genes and somebody elses would come out like. In fact, whenever i meet a brilliant person it totally crosses my mind that maybe i should club them, drag them back to my cave and fuck the shit out of them until i’m brooding our amazing progeny. Survival of the fittest means that i want my offspring to be gawjus, smart, athletic and musically breathtaking.

this particular rant is based on the recent discovery that one of my very bestest friends from high school is pregant. dude, i still get a little jolt whenever i’m on facebook and notice that her name is changed now, how am i supposed to adjust to a baby? then it hit me that out of my circle of friends in highschool i’m one of two that isn’t passionately in love with their spouse and/or pregnant and/or already has a kid. i don’t know if the other girl really counts because the other girl has been dating the same guy since we graduated hs and i’m pretty sure they’re getting hitched whenever they finish grad school. Yeah, doesn’t count.

let me think — my longest stretch of a relationship was to…. um…. i think CT, the guy i was dating right before i joined the military. that lasted close to a year, and we only split up because it will be years and years and years before i ever even might possibly live near him again. 

i think the real issue isn’t that another girl under 25 is pregnant but that it makes me insecure. when did my friends grow up? how did i get left behind? i’m turning 24 next year and still an epic fail at so many things – so how are my peers possibly old enough to be nursing? man i still haven’t decided if theres any actual noticible difference in washing your clothes in warm vs cold water, and my friends are going over stuff likelikelikelike um putting together baby cribs. what the ef man!

 i’m just too selfish. i like expensive gadgets, being extremely drunk, and playing video games for hours. a kid just wouldn’t fit.



~ by manjamanis on October 28, 2009.

3 Responses to “Georgia on My Mind”

  1. Hey I used to have the same angst and I’m almost 33. I still like drinking and playing video games for hours. But I married a wonderful woman who already had a couple of boys. Made me a dad and husband right away and it’s been great. Besdies, it meant I got to miss out on all the “bouncing, drooling, spitting, pooping, powdered, sweet-smelling” parts and right into the “Hey Dad, let’s go outside and have a lightsaber fight” parts. So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.

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