I think

That i should probably never be allowed to cook while i’m drunk.

i’ve been drinking since i got home from work, all by myself since i’m kind of an alcoholic. at about 7 i decided that i didn’t reallyreallyreally want to quit smoking, so i threw poor Charlie in the car and drove us to the gas station for smokes.

at 8 i decided i desperately wanted ramen. with vinegar. really spicy. mmmmmmmmmmm.

oh last night i dreamed that a friend of mine got blown up by mortars in Iraq. is that bad? it’s better than the last one — a child (actually not just a child, a baby in swaddling cloth) fell into a lake and i couldn’t save her because every time i went up for air the sky was exploding. so we both drowned in murky yellowgreen water while choking on seaweed. I think I got drunk that night too. I think it’s a fairly good response, personally.

i hate fucking dreaming about babies dying. last year my worst dream was being on patrol somewhere and my whole back up was a bunch of kids, and my precious little sister. a small child, like a six year old was peering our of our bunker and got shot. his brain conveniently exploded all over me. I had to wipe goo off my little sister, then go out and get shot myself. am I fucked up? maybe? maybe not? maybe i drink too much? maybe? maybe not?

xoxo!

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~ by manjamanis on April 29, 2008.

One Response to “I think”

  1. […] I had a bad dream  on April 28th, 2008 about a friend of mine getting blown up. I was sitting on a tarmac in the desert at night, watching people load a flag covered casket onto a plane. i woke up panicked, couldn’t breath, couldn’t speak, terrified. […]

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