I Heart Bandwagons

I’ve always loved the concept of complete strangers judging me based solely on the foul thoughts that come out of my mind.. I’m kind of a pervert. Most of my friends could tell you that but I doubt they actually know how deep it runs..

I was in Vegas last week, and I was jotting on the flight over:

There is a Hassidic Jewish couple on their cute daughter on the plane behind me. They walked up earlier, prim and proper. Made me wonder what they’re like naked. Does he go down on her? Does she pull on his coarse curly sideburns while she’s squirming and trembling? (I just noticed he’s taken off his skullcap, is that even legal?) Should I offer to watch their kid so they can join the mile high club? I fully support corrupting all innocent types – it seems like a good idea…

My lovely seatmates are having a charming convo about the evils of large laptops used for gaming. Old Lady (OL) thinks they shouldn’t be traveled with. She appears to feel very superior because HER laptop is small and lightweight. Young Lady (YL) is frumpy and appears ecstatic about having someone to talk to. YL uses over 7000 text messages a month, and OL says it’s okay because that means that she is keeping up with family. Isn’t she just a precious little thing??

They just moved on to curly hair being better than straight hair. Guess who got a foot of curls chopped off a week ago? This kid, that’s who!

(Someone just fucking shoot them. I mean it.)

Dear god, now they are onto how precious YL is for having a list of places to visit in the world. I’m suddenly struck by the worry that I’m feeling left out and bitterly superior because I’ve personally been to about 15 countries. I tried to convince myself that I’m better than them and don’t actually need to be included. Can it be true? Is that why I’m being judgmental and hateful?

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~ by manjamanis on April 18, 2008.

One Response to “I Heart Bandwagons”

  1. Well you have been to more countries than I have by a long shot, personally superiority is only a mindset; I see your point though, and believe me when I tell you that I just absolutely find your attention to detail quite “Remarkable”; believe me when I tell you that now I am micro reading to catch the small things. I just wanted to see some of your old blogs; A persons history sometimes is more important that their present, but I feel that’s mainly because their present is a direct reflection of their past.

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