Beethoven

a friend of mine wrote a story about a group of military types and how their whole operation moves like an orchestra. he suggested to me that perhaps i make a bombs exploding, planes flying, rahrah video to some amazing classical music. i <3 the idea!

the trick now is to find a good song (not so popular that you want to gag, but still chock-full of exciting beats) and some kickass footage. i have cool explosions and people running, plus some air drop stuff, and helicopter flight, but not enough good clips to fill a 4ish minute song.

trivia about the video world – the average person’s attention span is between 5-7 seconds, which mean i have to make a cut before i lose their attention. aka, a shot only lasts about 4 seconds. and it takes a whole lot of sorting through bad video to come up with those 3 or 4 seconds of amazing.

i don’t have anything better to do anyways…

just thinking

here’s a bit of my current routine for you:

i wake up at 0655, do a mad dash to the shower (water, shapoo, lather, repeat). i’m usually completely dressed (hair gel’d, eyes done, pants tucked) and walking out the door by 0715. i stumbled over to my smoke pit, do a quick debate on if i want to play a dumb game on my ipod, or read a little on my kindle, and essentially, smoke. i’m at work by 0729 usually.

log on to my work computer, turn on my personal computer. check my email, try and coax facebook to load. open up my spreadsheets, try and read my facemail. every single day i check a calculator we have, often called the donught of misery, but essentially, a count down until this fucking deployment is over. 

our time here is getting closer to being done, which is great for us, but it hit me the other day that the people getting ready to come here are probably sad. their familys are getting in those last minute hugs, the extra kisses, all the bonding. kasihan dong. i remember what it was like, being out and aboot and people would say they’d heard i was deploying, and ask  how much longer til i was leaving. they would smile sadly, hug me, tell me to keep my head down, and offer to buy me a meal or a drink before i left.

so here we are doing an ecstatic count down, while their wives/husbands/parents/kids are holding back tears and being strong etc.

sad.

xx

Me – superfamous concert photog

i figured

that maybe i should do an actual listing of what i’m thankful for. just ‘cos.

i’ve had a really bad couple of years, and it’s easy to get lost in those memories instead of the good ones. black permeates the rest of the color wheel a whole lot easier than say a beautiful light green, you know?

this year -
* i’ve gotten to work alongside some incredible people on this deployment; they were encouraging, motivating, and i’ve learned a whole lot about my careerfield from them

* i’ve also made some incredible friends out here. people have told me multiple times in life that i’ve affected them, reminded them of XYZ, brought them back to themselves – each time i meet someone deep enough for that to happen (with or without me, honestly) the beautiful thing is that they touch me too. people most often make me pull my hair and scream; occasionally i meet a person who gives me hope, reminds me that yes, happily-ever-afters-are-possible. not that it’s even a romantic relationship with that person, maybe it’s just watching the way they treat their families. maybe it’s watching the joy they have for music (yes, Alberti, you) or anime or books or beatboxing or a sport or a dumb football game. it’s really nice to be reminded that there is a world outside of my bubble.

* that my youngest sister got to visit me for a bit during the summer. we were really close when i was little, but i haven’t lived at home since i was 15ish, so i missed out on her growing up. she’s so tall and beautiful and smart and i barely know her. the middle sister and i chipped in for tickets for the baby to come to the US, and then i convinced her to visit me for a few days. it was pretty cool.

* for having a great bff who is taking care of the lights of my life while i’m deployed. so selfless of her. she loves to travel around and would bounce from city to city, but she’s been watching my kiddos and doesn’t do it that much. how can you repay that kindness?

* i learned a lot about myself this year, through some very painful circumstances that i’m not writing about just yet. i grew up a lot though. that’s a good thing yeah?

its pretty cold here boys and girls – i don’t like it.

dear stupidfacebook

Keiyia sweetheart, if you read this, i’m having a huge fight with facebook right now, trying to convince it that yes, i do need to get to my inbox so that i can look up your number so that i can call you so that i can tell you ‘happy thanksgiving’.

i have a sinking feeling it’s not going to work, which is why i’m publicly declaring that i’m trying reallyreallyreally hard.

xx

happy thanksgiving/pt test soon

my captain is big on the pt thing. he asks me just about every day if i’ve worked out..

a) i dislike sweating for un-fun purposes. volleyball, basketball, some kind of sport, hell yes. muggy, swamp sex, hell yes.
b) i’m too lazy to go to the gym. whenever i do actually go it’s okay and i am reminded that i actually kind of like working out, but it’s difficult for me to remember to get there. something about working a 15+ hour days makes me want to collapse into bed vs get undressed, redressed, sweaty, cold in the shower, and then into bed. just me?

in January a new set of standards for pt kick in, and a lot of people are freaking out about it. thing is, the run was the hardest part for me (i blame smoking and huge breasts). push ups are never fun, (i’m top heavy, remember?) and sit ups are easy. i’ve never been grossly overweight, not to mention i’ve lost 20lbs (damn beer weight) since we’ve been out here, so the waist measurement ain’t no thang either. the run got easier with the new standards – the only scary thing is that now there are minimums. say you fuck up and twist your ankle or something halfway through the run, so you limp back in 18 minutes = auto fail. or, you do too many push ups and tire out your abs so then you can’t do as many sit ups are you needed.

still, all i need to do is hit the minimum in each category, and get better than 75% overall. here’s a shitty yet still passing example:

the minimums are the numbers with *'s, the green are my suggestions

or if i felt like putting a teensy, weensy little bit more energy:

so this constitutes a "good" score.

maybe i should do a few more push ups so that my gold star will get even bigger.

maybe i should be worried about this?

xx

Brass Date:

 

Planning/Goals

my boss asked me the other day what my long term goals were.. i was dumbfounded for a bit because i’d had so much planned around going to Syracuse next year; that immediately hit me as funny because i love to plan.

i have alternate options (a,b,c) with contingency back ups, i have budgets laid out for if i go here vs. here..

and somehow it had never occured to me that i wouldn’t go to Syracuse. i know why – mostly because if i’d actually been allowed to apply i would have gotten picked up (heart—-beattttt) and that would have been that. didn’t even cross my mind that somehow the AF would dick me around.

so many people have bad experiences with the military and being forced to places they didn’t want to go; since i’ve been lucky and enjoyed just about everything i guess i’d forgotten that the AF really doesn’t have my best interests in mind.

either way, i need to start planning again.. god i love that…

option a: stay and rot at Dyess.
good: we have a huge budget, so we get to go to very expensive training classes and have brand-new equipment, constantly. my squadron is very lazy relaxed, and we do almost no work.
bad: as the lowest ranking ssgt in my section, i won’t have a troop for a couple years; yeah that would be less stress, but i also need to grow up and learn how to take care of people – what if when i pcs’d i was ncoic, and had never been in charge of anyone? plus, expensive training with no practical application = zero retention. it’s a waste of money if i don’t ever use the skill. i just don’t feel that we work enough there, which means i’m unsatisfied with work, and i end up drinking too much out of boredom – i’m wayyyyy too young for that.  

of course, i could just wait til this time next year and hopefully be allowed to apply for Syracuse, and then go to it in the fall of 2010. it’s just that it would be almost 2 years of inactivity, which makes me feel like i’m being choked while drowning in quicksand.

option b: volunteer for Korea/Turkey and gtfoTx.
good: i’d be in  a sweet foreign country, and working at an AFN shop. new culture to learn, bits of a language to pick up, and a whole new job spectrum. AFN does strictly broadcast stuff, so i’d do more news and at a quicker pace than ever before; aaaaand i would get to learn how to be a radio dj = sweet.
bad: leaving Nona and Charlie for a year with someone (maybe Noozi). living in barracks for a year. real broadcasters have strict standards, and i’ve never worked for a legit broadcaster (not to mention never gone to school for it) so i’d be the jackass making all the mistakes. one hand i’d learn a ton, on the other, i hate being an idiot.

great thing – after that long year, i’d have my choice of bases.. and i’m thinking that Italy or Portugal is sounding damn skippy!

option c: volunteering for Combat Camera in San Antonio.
good: ComCam is cool; they fly to sweet places and film interesting things. San Antonio is a beautiful city with great weather. i like the idea of going to a unit thats just starting up; be getting a chance to affect history. if i bought a house in SA and got out at the end of this enlistment (5 more fucking years) then i’d already be established in a great city with lots of job ops. not to mention almost owning a home outright before i was 30.
bad: ComCam guarantees a deployment just about every year. the money would be good, but ew constant deployments. i’d need a roommate fo’ sho.

it would be nice to live somewhere i liked.

eh. who knows.

and now, off to a photo date with some brass!

xx

They were Jammin’

after further perusal, i’ve come up with a couple additional favorites:

everyone else loves this one the mostest

effing amazing, i am.

I like this one the best because of all the crazy emotion going on - his face, Gary's face in the corner, the crowd exploding. it's beautiful

you can see the rest.. all eighty million.. on DVIDS of course.

Lt Dan Band in Afghanistan

freaking sweet. here’s my initial take on the gazillion pictures i took: